


Just a Little Bit

by Serafim3389



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas thinks Dean is cheating, Dean just doesn't deal with loss well, Ellen and Jo get in a car accident, Got the title from the song just a little bit of your heart, I'm Sorry, M/M, had to get it out, he just bottles it up, really sad, that is not the case at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 18:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3539204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serafim3389/pseuds/Serafim3389
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has had almost all he can take. The people he's talked to have told him to get out get far away from him. After all, he is cheating, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a Little Bit

He loved him endlessly, he loved him with everything he had. Castiel just wanted all of Dean, but he was reminded that he couldn’t. Every damn time Dean stepped through the door, he smelled like her. He had no idea who ‘she’ was, nor did he ask. He knew better, but he still tried. He wanted all of Dean.

“Come to bed, Dean.” Castiel took the drowsy man’s hand and kissed his knuckles. When he didn’t pull away, he became hopeful.

Dean’s eyes fluttered open, “You go ahead, I’ll be in soon.”

_Please? Anything?_ “Alright,” He leaned forward on the couch and pressed a hand gently to Dean’s cheek and kissed the other, “I love you.” Oh how he meant it every time.

Dean let out a hum of approval and Castiel lifted himself from the couch. He knew better. It didn’t matter how many times he was told he should leave, he stayed. He was so in love with him it was downright stupid. Every step to bed was painful. Tears stung in his eyes and his breath caught in his lungs, but he wouldn’t shed one until he closed the door. He crawled in his bed and under the blankets. Once he was sure Dean wouldn’t hear, he let out a quiet sob into his pillow. Didn’t he know how much he meant to Castiel. _Does he know how much I love him? Why does he go to her? Aren’t I enough?_

Castiel cried until he fell asleep, the last thing he saw was the photograph on the nightstand. It was the two of them before ‘ _her’_ , they were happy and so indescribably in love. If you asked anyone else, the two of them couldn’t keep their hands of the other. Now, Castiel begged for his affection. They hadn’t had sex in weeks and it had been days since Dean kissed him back.

Castiel was woken up later by the bed shifting. He felt a once familiar arm curl around his waist. He was pulled into a warm chest and he wanted to cry again. _This is new._ “Dean.” _Maybe…_ “Who is she?” He wanted all of Dean and the only way to get even just a little bit was to end this.

“What do you mean?” Dean’s voice sounded broken.

“The woman you’ve been sleeping with.” He felt Dean’s body tense. “You come home and you smell like her.” His tears were pouring out now and Castiel was almost sobbing, “You haven’t touched me or kissed me. You can’t even tell me that you love me back.” He covered his face even though he was turned away from Dean. “I want all of you, but I know I can’t. Just give me a little bit. Give me something. Everyone I talk to tells me to leave, to get far away from you and I can’t.” Castiel moved to sit up and look at the man that caused all of this.

Dean’s eyes were puffy from crying and he looked so lost. _Was he really upset about being caught?_ Dean opened his mouth and took a deep breath, “Ellen and Jo were in a car crash last month. Ellen died upon impact and Jo was mercy flown.” Dean sat up with fresh tears streaming down his cheeks, “For the past few weeks she’s been in a coma and I’ve been going almost every day to the hospital to take care of her. I know the nurses and the doctors do, but Jo always said that-” He covered his face and sobbed. Castiel pulled Dean in as close as he could. He rubbed circles in his back as the man cried against his chest. Dean calmed down enough to speak again, “She said that hospital gowns weren’t her thing and that she better be dressed like she’s just going for a flu shot. So I would go and make sure she had clean clothes on and everything.”

“Dean.” Castiel had no other words.

Dean pulled away to look at Castiel, “And today, they told me that there was no longer any brain activity. So they pulled the plug.” Dean broke. He finally snapped. Even though Jo wasn’t his family by blood, he considered her a sister. They had known in each since they were in diapers.

“Oh god, Dean.” Castiel pulled the man in again when shaky hands reached out for him. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Castiel just held onto the broken man and let him cry. He squeezed him and pressed small kisses into his hair and rubbed his back. Dean sat up after a while, “Cas, baby, there is no one else. I swear. I just haven’t been ok. I’m so sorry. I love you, I love you more than anything.” He grabbed Cas’ hands and kissed his fingers, “You have all of me. Every single piece. There will never be anyone else. I couldn’t just throw away four years. I’m just not good at losing people.”

The blue-eyed man was crying, in fact he really hadn’t stopped crying. _He was never not mine. Why didn’t I just ask him, how could I have been so stupid?_ He pressed a kiss to Dean’s lips. It was sweet and reassuring in a sense that things will one day be alright. “It’s alright.” _It always has been._

“I need some time, ok? Just a little bit.”

_Just a little bit._

The couple laid together tangled in each other. In each other’s arms they slept. In the morning they could brave the big, bad world. They made silent promises to each other to give just a little bit, even when they couldn’t see the light in the dark.


End file.
